Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Facebook 10 Tips for the Over 40 Crowd
Well, it seems like every one is on Facebook these days - well the ones that haven't moved to Google+. As we become more computer savvy, the middle-age crowd is still making mistakes. If you are not aware, here are David's Top 10 Tips to be cool enough to survive cyberspace.
1. Friends: Don't become friends with people at work! Do I need to explain this? Have you seen the news, people get fired for posting beach pictures when they've called in sick! Even saying that you've had a bad day - not a good idea. (One reason Google+ is so cool, it's easy to post to specified groups.)
Let me ask you, I don't come visit you ever, have you asked yourself why? You probably don't know that I hid all your posts and that's why I NEVER comment on them. And when you posted the status: "I am cleaning out my friends let me know if you want to stay on." I didn't respond. Yeah.
2. Profile Pictures: They need to be recent; within the last 10 years people! Group and travel photos are confusing, especially if there is an animal in the background that is better looking than you! Do remember to change the orientation of your photos so it looks like you are standing up, not laying in the gutter eating pizza. Stay away from amusement park photos of you pulling up your shirt up at Splash Mountain - boys you are not that cute. And don't put up a picture of your dog or favorite cartoon character, you're an adult now. And we know how old you are.
3. Status: "What's On You Mind?" I realize this is scary question for most of us. Big Brother is recording everything on Facebook, so lie - well, and remember to confess it on Saturday too. We don't care if you lost your car keys (try the front door). Skip the fantasies, song lyrics and don't be firing off stuff to make people mad that are not my friends too. IE: I am mad at Bob, he such is such a jerk and deserves to die. Try Compose New Message from the Messages menu! And while we are at it, forget the "fishing statuses". "People suck", really? Which ones? Be specific and tag the people that suck. If you post "I wish I was dead." I might reply "me too."
4. Relationship Status: Call the other party and let them know that you are dumping them, OK? I mean, nothing like Bob changing his relationship status to "Single," and then posting your friends asking for dates. Not cool.
5. Family: If your kids are your friends, do not post "when you get home, your father is going to kill you." Think about their friends?
6. Fan Pages: Please, Bobby Sherman is long gone and preforms in Vegas for old people. He was actually never cool, and he still isn't. Don't become his fan, it shows your age, and you're on Facebook trying to hide it right? Remember, this is your last chance to be cool before you die, don't blow it. Even if you are a fan of Morning Sex, don't go there. Your kids are watching and this is a picture they don't want to have.
7. Commenting: This is different from What's On You Mind? It's a comment about a post. You didn't know that because you were too busy watching your fingers while typing. FYI - comments are public too!
8. Notes: This is where you put all that junk that you would normally send in email as a forward. SO STOP FORWARDING ME EMAILS! I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe, and I don't play in the balls at the McDonald's playground. Oh, one more thing, I am not going to read your notes either!
9. Birthday: Skip displaying the year. There are 3 reasons: 1) We graduated together in 1970 something -- in 30 years, nothing has changed-- including the year you were born. OK, well maybe our pants sizes. 2) It makes me feel old. 3) Identity thieves can use it to get your credit records.
10. Name: Can you please use a name I recognize? I shouldn't have to buy a vowel just figure out who you are. There is a space for maiden name - you can even use that if you are divorced. And if you don't like your middle name, don't put in "holy crap" or butterfly lover" - please, millions of people can see this!