Friday, September 4, 2009

Things That Make Me Chuckle - The President Bought a Cookie

My wife likes to laugh. Apparently that is one of the long lost reasons that she married me. Some days I am not too much fun. That's why I read a couple of blogs each day-- looking for material to keep my wife happy. As a guy, I tend to compartmentalize things. I am thinking, this will make her laugh, she is thinking, the trash man comes the exact same day each week for years, and he forgets. That usually ruins our 6:30 am coffee on Thursday morning.

In the evenings, after the Energizer Bunny (our 5-year-old) goes for her beauty nap, we try to catch up for a few minutes and watch an episode of CSI-- preferably the one that is set in Vegas. See, there I go trying to make her happy. I like the one that is set in -- never mind. The remote is all hers at 10 pm-- and earlier if I am asleep. Thank God Lost had it's farewell performance. For God's sake if John had turned the damn wheel in the cave, they could have finished two seasons earlier!

Some times our conversations are funnier when we are delusional from sleep deprevation. We've laughed so many times over the time I said, "General Surgeon" that it almost sounds correct. Law & Order is occasionally known as SUV. And it's always interesting to see what the answer is to what language do they speak in Poland ? It is not quite as tricky as what language do they speak in Brazil ? Amazingly, probably because we're simple, we still laugh about a Creflo Dollar comment that we heard on TV while were on our honeymoon. He was laying in bed, and his wife came and lay down too. After he was nearly asleep, she asked him if he would get up and get her a glass of water. "What are your legs broke?" he replied. One can only imagine how that exchange ended.

Our inability to make any real friends in the three years we have lived here, albeit sad, is fodder for jokes-- especially when planning for parties and holidays. If you ever see an invitation for a happening at our home on Facebook, it's not real.

And we have our favorite commercials-- we love the cell phone ad where the fellow is yelling in the phone, "oxen" and shortly there after is a stampede of daschunds (doxen if you not at our IQ level). We are big fans of the Jimmy Dean commercials with the sun too. My wife prefers the one with the rainbow and the cloud-- me I like the one with the eclipse.

And then there is the news: The President Bought a Cookie. 'nough said.

I read a blog the other day about what would Jesus "tweet". Taking the historical happenings of His life in 128 characters is actually quite amusing. "Scared my folks, I hid in the temple teaching hehe." "Ascended into heaven today to be with my Father." "Worked with Joseph building condos today." "We beat the Devils today-- those pigs. Wahoo!" "Feeling sad, the Pharisees don't really like me. :(" "The apostles were all in one accord, if they had more faith, it would have been a Hummer limo!" Sorry, I was inspired there for moment.

I got thinking what it would have been like for some of the other Bible characters if they'd of had Facebook Mobile.

ADAM: "OMG - I have no friends or family. Umm... what's a family?"
MOSES: "I guess we're betting on the Giants"
NOAH: "Workin' on the boat again."
ABRAHAM: "I thought she said porcupine!"
JOSEPH: "Feeling a little down -- spent the night in a cistern and I'm not talking to my brothers for at least a decade!"
ELIJAH: "That was better than the 4th! Wahoo!"
DANIEL: "Not a Lions fan."
DAVID: "I have 4 stones left. WOOT!"
JONAH: "I am going to be without a cell signal for a few days."

Anyway - enjoy the weekend!

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