Thursday, January 18, 2007

Relationship 101 - Lesson 2

Last time I was talking about some basic principals and elements of relationships. I have decided that our relationships grow deeper because of the effort that we put into them. There is a physical element with a married relationship and an authority issue with parent child relationships. However; we can be close or distant in any relationship. Here are some thoughts on moving closer. I guess the inverse, growing apart, would be not to do them.

If the goal of relationship is to be close and feel it, then we need to work towards the goal. The goal of a Christian relationship is to serve one another. But let's start with closeness. I heard Jimmy Evans say that the commodity of a relationship is time. For many that is true, but for some that is only a small element of feeling loved. I think for most people love and closeness are synonymous. The ultimate target in a relationship is 100% transparency and emotional intimacy.

If you have read the 5 Love Languages, then you know that different people have different ways in which they feel loved. Some enjoy time together, some prefer to get gifts, others like be complimented and some prefer to have "works of service", while many are happy with simple (nonsexual) affection. If we are to look at 1 Corinthians chapter 13, we see that love is kind. I want you to consider this, what kind of kind do I need to be? One of the 5 kinds. Now love is a lot of other things, however; kindness will go a long way in building a relationship... especially if you use one of the five types we have talked about.

It is worth mentioning that people will often respond to most of the 5 different expressions of loving kindness. I don't know many woman that would enjoy getting married without the gift of an engagement ring. You would be hard-pressed to find a child that didn't look forward to Christmas or Birthday gifts. Most emotionally healthy people will readily accept a compliment while husbands and wives hopefully share affection with each otter. The point is this, which one or possibly two would make you feel the most loved in a relationship? If you can answer that question for each of the people that you love, you will have come a long way in becoming closer to them.

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