As many of us press on in our faith, we come to points in life that we seem to have no choice in how things go. That seems to be when God shows himself to be the most faithful. I also find that when we are at our weakest, God seems to pour forth while I am in my most pitiful state. Here is what I am talking about. I was divorced about 6 years ago and left with very little in terms of worldly things. I had a car (for a few weeks) and a job (for a month or so) and my clothes, a bunch of CDs, a stereo and some personal artifacts that were worth something to me. Now not having things is not a bad thing, it was just a fact. For this American it was rather difficult leaving so much behind. Well, until I couldn't afford a car and I was laid-off from work it then seemed unbearable. And yes, it got worse.
These difficult times certainly kept me close to God. I didn't have a TV or a computer. I listened to worship music literally day and night. I looked for work and worked part-time during the day. I helped lead young adults meetings at night. I played guitar at home for hours along with the CD player... Pretty much just me and Jesus.
I was attending a church and the pastor left for another country. He and I had developed a wonderful relationship during our weekly counseling meetings. After he announced his departure, I was handed off to the "new guy." Wow! What a change for me... Mr. Grace (me) meets Mr. Pentecostal (the new guy); and the sparks began to fly. During his first week we had our first meeting. It was made clear that I wasn't going to be part of the ministry there.
I was really confused about things. In my prayer times, I told God I had been at the church a year and people knew me, and knew about me. I wanted to serve God, but not under this guy. Yet, I did not feel a release to go somewhere else. I guess that is why getting shut down bothered me so much. As you might imagine, I got angry. So I left for Florida.... just for a vacation to sort things out and get a little break from the "legal eagles."
Sitting in a small meeting of about 75, not far from Orlando, I was kind of hanging out in the back worshiping and just enjoying the presence of God. After a while, I decided that I wanted to get going. I was tired from traveling; from life actually. I was just about to get up and leave when this guy on the platform calls me out for a prophetic word. Man! I should of left a little earlier I thought to myself. But I got up and walked to the altar area. The man's name was Greg I think. And here is what he said. "You have the prophetic gift, and I want you to come up here and minister tonight. Just call some folks out and don't prophesy anybody dying." I have to say that is that last thing I wanted to do, be Mr. Church again. I did what he asked and called out one, then another. I think there were about six when he stopped me. He said, "God wants to build your confidence tonight." He asked the 6 folks to come up and give feedback. As always, I am more amazed then the recipients how accurate things were. I can't say how empty I was when I started and how full I was when I finished. I still had to fly home, but that is another story.