Til Death Do Us Part - Learning from Your Spouse

Today Mary Anne and I celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. And tomorrow will mark the passage of eight years since we sat across from each other at the Way-Ho, peering into each others eyes over a flaming Pu Pu Platter-- her in a floral blouse and blue skirt-- me probably in jeans.

On our weekend retreat, we laughed about her shaking hands at the altar, and my miraculous inability to say "I do" with not so much as enough volume to be heard by even her. We talked about the ceremony starting late because the hairdressers were one short that morning. Last year we laughed about the candle ceremony, in which all the guests held a lit candle, which the pastor was certain would start a fire. However; he forgot to ask for everyone to extinguish them. To the relief of all our friends and family, I stepped in and suggested to him that it was probably a good idea to do that before moving on.

I can still hear the music -- With You I'm Born Again -- as she and her dad walked the aisle. And the sound of the Vineyard song Jesus as we took communion, and I Could Sing of Your Love Forever as we walked out of the church as husband and wife. The best man's toast, seeing friends that we have not seen in ages -- wishes for a wonderful life together. It was a beautiful day ending with a seafood dinner in Rock Harbor watching the sunset. Well that's the PG version.

Just the beginning... whatever I thought about marriage, communication, Jesus and life, has all changed. In fact she is the best thing that ever happened to me.

So what have a I learned from Mary Anne over the last eight years? A lot! Hopefully you too, can appreciate her wisdom.

- Big dogs weigh over 100 lbs!
- Most cars do not have heat - dress warmly.
- Air Conditioning should be for single men.
- Vacation is for going to the beach, not sitting around watching TV.
- Real listening means no talking- but requires head nods and eye contact.
- Notes in your spouses lunch and cards on their car help achieve the goal of a happy spouse.
- Never mindlessly pick up the receipts at the grocery store hoping for a great coupon, you might get someone else's that says. "Love Card, Chocolates, and Floral Bouquet" (which will be read -- causing false anticipation followed by severe disappointment that you didn't actually buy those things at all - the wise man before you did.)
- Black, white and gray are not colors - especially for clothes and cars.
- Breakfast can only be had in bed on Mother's Day, or out. Pick one.
- Good love making starts in the kitchen, but does not take place there.
- It is best to say very little-- that way it is easier to avoid getting caught making mistakes.
- Faith is about what you believe, not how you act on Sunday morning.
- Actions speak louder than words - so much so that it would be better for you to just shut up and get to work acting like you mean it.
- It is not a gift if it is purchased the same day it is to be given.
- Real moms spend as much time as possible with their kids.
- Blue cars are much better than red cars.
- Men should never ask their wives to leave the seat up when they are done with the bathroom.
- "I like _____ ." is better stated, "please do ______ ."
- Listening to insincere people is like fingernails on a chalkboard.
- Funny things are supposed to make you laugh.
- Sushi is raw fish.
- There are two kinds of music, what you like, and country, which everyone else likes.
- There is no right answer to "Do I look good in this?"
- I said "yes," signaling the fact that there should NOT be any more questions. Just no more questions!
- All relationship is for a lifetime.