Skip to main content

Things That Make Me Chuckle - The President Bought a Cookie

My wife likes to laugh. Apparently that is one of the long lost reasons that she married me. Some days I am not too much fun. That's why I read a couple of blogs each day-- looking for material to keep my wife happy. As a guy, I tend to compartmentalize things. I am thinking, this will make her laugh, she is thinking, the trash man comes the exact same day each week for years, and he forgets. That usually ruins our 6:30 am coffee on Thursday morning.

In the evenings, after the Energizer Bunny (our 5-year-old) goes for her beauty nap, we try to catch up for a few minutes and watch an episode of CSI-- preferably the one that is set in Vegas. See, there I go trying to make her happy. I like the one that is set in -- never mind. The remote is all hers at 10 pm-- and earlier if I am asleep. Thank God Lost had it's farewell performance. For God's sake if John had turned the damn wheel in the cave, they could have finished two seasons earlier!

Some times our conversations are funnier when we are delusional from sleep deprevation. We've laughed so many times over the time I said, "General Surgeon" that it almost sounds correct. Law & Order is occasionally known as SUV. And it's always interesting to see what the answer is to what language do they speak in Poland ? It is not quite as tricky as what language do they speak in Brazil ? Amazingly, probably because we're simple, we still laugh about a Creflo Dollar comment that we heard on TV while were on our honeymoon. He was laying in bed, and his wife came and lay down too. After he was nearly asleep, she asked him if he would get up and get her a glass of water. "What are your legs broke?" he replied. One can only imagine how that exchange ended.

Our inability to make any real friends in the three years we have lived here, albeit sad, is fodder for jokes-- especially when planning for parties and holidays. If you ever see an invitation for a happening at our home on Facebook, it's not real.

And we have our favorite commercials-- we love the cell phone ad where the fellow is yelling in the phone, "oxen" and shortly there after is a stampede of daschunds (doxen if you not at our IQ level). We are big fans of the Jimmy Dean commercials with the sun too. My wife prefers the one with the rainbow and the cloud-- me I like the one with the eclipse.

And then there is the news: The President Bought a Cookie. 'nough said.

I read a blog the other day about what would Jesus "tweet". Taking the historical happenings of His life in 128 characters is actually quite amusing. "Scared my folks, I hid in the temple teaching hehe." "Ascended into heaven today to be with my Father." "Worked with Joseph building condos today." "We beat the Devils today-- those pigs. Wahoo!" "Feeling sad, the Pharisees don't really like me. :(" "The apostles were all in one accord, if they had more faith, it would have been a Hummer limo!" Sorry, I was inspired there for moment.

I got thinking what it would have been like for some of the other Bible characters if they'd of had Facebook Mobile.

ADAM: "OMG - I have no friends or family. Umm... what's a family?"
MOSES: "I guess we're betting on the Giants"
NOAH: "Workin' on the boat again."
ABRAHAM: "I thought she said porcupine!"
JOSEPH: "Feeling a little down -- spent the night in a cistern and I'm not talking to my brothers for at least a decade!"
ELIJAH: "That was better than the 4th! Wahoo!"
DANIEL: "Not a Lions fan."
DAVID: "I have 4 stones left. WOOT!"
JONAH: "I am going to be without a cell signal for a few days."

Anyway - enjoy the weekend!

Labels

Labels:

Comments

photogr said…
We can only wonder.
September 6, 2009 at 12:41 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mad Libs: An Unforgettable Church Service

Hopefully you have heard of Mad Libs (R) ! They are stories that you blindly fill in the blanks for articles of grammar and then read the completed story. Since I was a kid, these have always been a hoot. I decided to make up my own. Just fill in the blanks next time you are at small group and then read it back. It is sure to shake up a few religious spirits. An Unforgettable Church Service We arrived at _________ ( time of day ) at the Church of the Holy _________ ( noun ). It was ___________ ( day of week ) and we got out of the _________ ( mode of transportation ). We were dressed in our __________ ( day of week ) best. We all held _________ ( plural body part ) as we crossed the street. Today was special because it was ___________ (holiday) and the kids look forward to receiving _________ ( noun ) as part of the celebration. Pastor _________ ( name ) was there to greet us and shake our ________ ( body part ). He welcomed my __________ ( family member ) with a big _________ ( bodil...
5 comments
Read more

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy

There was a discussion on Facebook today about how some people think Christians are "whack jobs." Regardless, God is still great. I don't really know much about beer. I haven't had one in just about 30 years. There are a lot of folks that consider themselves to be Christian. Some because they do good, and others because they have faith in God or are born again-- and others because they grew up in a Christian denomination. Far be it from me to decide who is in, and who is out. Some say we'll be surprised at who is going to be there, and others say who think they are in will be surprised when they are rejected at the Pearly Gates. Hmmm... But let's say you are a real Christian who is feeling passionate about doing something for God. You know something beyond throwing a few bucks in the offering plate and trying to be a good person. The church calls it service or ministry, which could include such things as: reading scriptures on Sunday morning, planning a harves...
3 comments
Read more

5 1/2 The Home Group Experience

For years I have attended small groups, or home fellowships as they are sometimes called. They are an interesting blend of intimacy, arm chair theology and the real Jesus. Here is my take on the anatomy of a home or small group meeting -1 Worship: This is the time when we tell the Lord how much we love him in song. We praise him as the wight of the world lifts off our shoulders and we come into the presence of Almighty God. Err - get something to drink, take a large handful of chocolate covered pretzels because we skipped dinner, and make a plan for the soft couch instead of the miniature folding chairs from kids church. -2 Unofficial Potty Break: On the 15th chorus of I Could Sing of Your Love Forever (how come no one dances to that song?) it's a good time to beat the rush. Beware, once someone gets up, it is a sign for others to make their moves for the coffee pot, the peanut dish and the brownies. It is a li...
5 comments
Read more