Friday, November 13, 2009

The Good Wife - Does Talking to the TV Mean Your Nuts?

For those of you that follow me on Facebook, you know what goes on at the J' home - the censored version anyway. I am married, and I have three daughters that are regularly present at my house. Charlotte is 6, Erin is 18, Zöe is 21, me; I passed the 1/2 century mark and Mary Anne, she's ageless.

Some days I agree with Jeff Foxworthy, it is like living in a sea of estrogen. We have lots of feelings being expressed, some real life drama over silly stuff, and well, lots of pinks, pastels, country music, and stuffed animals. And it is unlawful to leave the toilet seat up.

A few years ago we had some guests over for dinner. During our discussion I told them Mary Anne was the best wife. The husband of couple who were visiting, not wanting to leave his princess un-complimented, promptly announced that he "had the second best wife." The very one that was sitting there unimpressed by his statement.

Mary Anne is the best thing that ever happened to me - but that doesn't mean that the honeymoon is still on. We work hard at it, making time, listening, learning new techniques for communicating, date nights and all that. Which once we are tired and ready for sleep, goes right out the window.

Mary Anne and I have a new favorite TV show: it is the "The Good Wife" and we discuss (censored version of "argue") over whether Alicia Florrick should take back the cheating SOB. Gil Grissom is gone, Mack usually has bad lines before the Who theme, and Horatio never rated with my bride. She applauded the night that he was murdered at the airport only to find out it was a hoax - that's when Miami "jumped the shark." SUV is always pushing some stupid left-wing agenda and Mary Anne doesn't enjoy me when I'm mad.

If you were to listen to the conversation outside the master bedroom, it would go something like this:

Mary Anne: "I can't believe that she is still talking to the creep."

David: "Maybe she still loves him."

Mary Anne: "Not after that."

David: "It doesn't have to be the end."

Mary Anne: "Well it would be for me."

David: "I know, but she's not you."

Mary Anne: "Well she's an idiot if she takes him back."

David: "She's a lawyer, educated, smart..."

Mary Anne: "She's an idiot if she takes him back."

David: "Take him back!"

Mary Anne: "Who are you talking to?"

David: "Mrs. Florrick."

Mary Anne: "She can't hear you! And he's in jail."

David: "I'm just sayin'"

Mary Anne: "Saying what? She needs to dump him and move on."

The more tired we get, the more degraded the conversation gets. By the end, Alicia, my wife's hero (I am not allowed to have female heroes - BTDT) wins the case because she is intuitive, smart and professional.

David: "Doesn't it seem a little odd that she stays with a cheating jerk if she is so smart? I'm just sayin'.

Mary Anne: "No one can hear you."

David: "What?"


Tony C said...

I see much wisdom on your part in these words you post...

...besides the part where you actually talk to the TV.

Candice and I watch Modern Family together. She's most entertained by me cracking up at the antics on the show which may or may not involve passing a beverage through my's pretty funny.

photogr said...

I must break down and watch this program. One can only watch so many reruns on the military and science channels

David said...

@Tony - I do talk to the TV. Especially during the CBS news. And man, I want to yell at Barney Frank too!

Unknown said...

Yep, sounds familiar. We went to see Couples Retreat yesterday -- we avoided conversation about it after. It would have degraded fast as well.
But your wife is right, she should dump him but life isn't always like that. Sometimes you just love someone that much.

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