Monday, December 14, 2009

Kids Will Be Kids - You Get What You Pay For

Today I am having a hard time not going to a few churches and turning over a some tables! For years I have attended church with my family in the hope of us growing closer to Jesus and His people. In the process of "not forsaking the gathering of believers," I have watched my family get hurt by shallow religious folks; who were for the most part, clueless.

Today, I am mad about it.

The lesson our kids have learned is this: If you are normal enough to fit our religious paradigm, we'll be your friend; otherwise, we can't be bothered with you.

1 Corinthians 4:15 (Amplified Bible)15 After all, though you should have ten thousand teachers (guides to direct you) in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers.

It is stunning to me how often "church" abandons kids to loneliness by buying into the lie that "kids will be kids;" teaching it like truth. The problem with that philosophy is that kids will become immature adults who can't take care of their own kids. It is a generational curse that must be broken.

What kids need is adults! They need spiritual mothers and fathers as well as parents.

Kids need more than supervision, they need parental love, and a church that values them - not as having a junior Holy Spirit, but as kids that have THE Holy Spirit.

With approximately 50% of our youngsters abandoning Christianity for some other form of philosophy, their parents with a divorce rates hovering around 50%, teenage drug use, suicide and promiscuity on the rise, can parents and churches tell themselves it is just "kids being kids?"


In order to give kids value, we need to not only train them in the word, but we need to model it (read that SHOW THEM UNTIL THEY GET IT) - that includes loving the unlovable.

And parents, do you really think that your kids are equipped to be adults at age 18? Consider this verse:

Ephesians 5:31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

You might want to think about being an involved parent until your child is mature and marries. I'm just sayin'.

Maybe you have you looked at a kid in church (or anywhere) and decided they are a "bad apple" or nothing but trouble. Then you are the problem.

Have you seen kids at risk, and avoided them? Then you are the problem.

Have you said to yourself, that one is going to get pregnant, or that one is into drugs? When you decide who is going to "make it," and who is not, that is called judgement; which is sin.

We can't impact everyone at church, but we should be impacting someone at church. Take a look around this Sunday and see who needs a friend, who needs someone to talk to, who needs someone to model a two-parent family - then invite them over, and get involved.

And no, I am not exonerating bad parents from their part in this - but if a kid is at your church, they are YOUR family. If you have bad parents in your church, it just might be your job to step in and help out.

Have you thought about what it means to lay down your life? I'm just askin'.

Galatians 2:6 (NIV) As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance.

Do I seem a little upset today? You bet I am. When I see another young life derailed simply because "church" was too busy to notice or care, it makes me angry. How about you, do you care?

Luke 6:32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them.


Michelle said...

Good post.

I can't remember who it is, but I've heard a Christian speaker that pointed out a parent was a parent until marriage. I think they were pointing out the responsibilities of both the parents and the children to follow Ephesians 6 until that point.

Spiritual parents are very much needed. Not only spiritual parents, but spiritual families for couples like us. We weren't raised in a Christian family and are at a point where we feel spiritual guidance would be helpful. For the very reasons you are speaking of for kids, as adults we have been shunned. People don't want to reach out.

(My last two posts kind of relate to this. More about the actual family than the spiritual family.)

photogr said...


I see the same thing at the church I attend and the kids in our neighborhood. I am familiar with a sister in the faith that seems to be ignored at church with her aliments wishing for some so called friends to call her and check up on how she is doing. They never do.

I have seen formerly good kids in our neighborhood get mixed up in drugs and fall in a trap. I always tell them I am there if they want to talk but some I think will not repent untill there is a real crisis in their life. They do have some one to talk to if they ever need help. I just will not chase them . It will be on their terms when they want to talk.

The thing I see with most churches today is exactly what you mentioned earlier. Not fitting the mold. Heck, the kids in church aren't the ones we should be reaching out to. The ones that don't go to church should be the primary target but it never is.

The other problem is there is not a concentrated effort by church leaders to reach these problem kids at their level.

I don't know what can be done but I am willing to try something.

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