-10 Lack of Deep Relationship - I think of all the stupid things Christians commonly do, the fact that so many do not understand what it means to be a church family, a brother or sister in the Lord, or a godly friend tops the list.John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
Somehow this scripture from John (above) has been Americanized to mean "be nice to each other." Sure, some will take it deeper and pray for others, and some will even serve each other by bringing a meal or visiting someone in the hospital. The deeper the better - but I don't go to church to be "niced" to death!
I think the basic problem is that we love as we have been loved, not as Jesus has loved us.
The true test of a loving and deep relationship, however; is not good feelings, personal satisfaction and a plaque for expressing love using one of the 5 Love Languages. A deep relationship creates an atmosphere of trust, accountability and camaraderie. It is sacrificial - an intimate expression of God's lovingkindness, mercy and grace; facilitating the sharing of burdens, confession of sin and prayer for one another.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
Christian "fellowship" as it is often called, tends to be focused on Sunday services, Bible studies, chit-chat at the coffee pot and other small group activities. Fellowship focuses on religious activities, occasionally on Jesus, and rarely the building of healthy relationships. IE: Getting to know one another.
What would it be like if every Christian, instead of hoping that their sins remained private, had someone that they could trust to share them with?
I confess, I have never been to a church that taught true relationship. They threw a few books at it - temperaments such as DISC or the Greek Model, The 5 Love Languages (for married couples) and a few sermons on love - often aimed at married folks. Others have focused on personal healing - using books like the Boundaries series, 12 Steps for Christians and Search for Significance.
Many men's groups used Wild at Heart, are touting leftovers from Promise Keepers and other materials pertaining to the differences between men and woman. All of these are EXCELLENT resources. They are helpful in understanding yourself and others, which; results in better quality relationships. Some, however; are aimed at fixing the old man, the very same one that must die so that the new man in Christ can be released!
There are practical things you can do to facilitate relationship, those are listed HERE.
If we are first going to develop real relationship, then we need to know what God expects of us in those relationships. As previously stated, just telling folks to love another, doesn't seem to be doing the trick!
The following is a list of Bible versus using the Greek word ALLELOUS; often translated as one another along with a few of others that imply one another. As doers of the word, I am sure you'll find them handy.
Leviticus 19:11 "'Do not steal. "'Do not lie. "'Do not deceive one another.
John 13:14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet.
John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 13:8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.
Romans 14:13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Romans 15:14 I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.
Romans 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings.
1 Corinthians 1:10 I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 5:19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Hebrews 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
James 4:11 Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 4:9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1 Peter 5:5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another , because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
1 John 3:11 This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
1 John 3:23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.
1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:9 Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
Hebrews 13:1 Keep on loving each other as brothers.
2 Thessalonians 1:3 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
1 Thessalonians 5:13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 4:18 Therefore encourage each other with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:9 Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.
1 Thessalonians 3:12 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices
Philippians 4:2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Galatians 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Corinthians 12:25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
Galatians 5:15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
1 Corinthians 11:33 So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for each other.
Romans 1:12 that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.
Ephesians 4:16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.
2 comments:
Most of your verses emphasize the Love and caring issues in our faith. Such a simple thing to do but yet many Christians find it hard to honestly love and care for one another or non believers.
Only when we can accomplish this as Jesus suggested, then we will eperience the loving grace of God.
David,
Sadly, I so agree with you on this topic. It is one that has hurt me the most.
Recently I attended an 11 week ladies Bible study. I did not want to be in a 'small' group after having been hurt badly in a prior one.
I was surprised to find that for part of the time we were put in groups. Drats, I said.
I was blessed and learned a lot in the study itself and tried to have no expectations from the ladies in my group for any continued friendships.
Well, the last week I gave in and did something I have never done before and will never do again. I shared with the ladies that due to my physical limitations I find myself lonely for friendship. And if any of them wanted to keep in touch with me that would be great. Two wrote down my phone numbers, we all have each others emails.
Well, it has been about 3 weeks and not a peep out of anyone of them. Well, 'its the holiday season' ha, ha could be a good reason.
It seems unless you are a 'planned outreach' you can whistle dixie until you hear from someone. I have been struggling over this the past few days and need some more time to recover. Once again I have to forgive fellow believers about the same thing again.
It is bad enough that most believers do not pursue true relationships with each other. There is something really wrong when the chronically ill in body of Christ are ignored.
In Matthew 25:34-46 Jesus has some harsh words to say about how we should be feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, visiting those in prison, visiting the Sick and helping them.
I'd be happy with an occasional phone call.
I have even approached someone at church about starting a ministry to the chronically ill (and offered to help) and was 'nicely' blown off. There was some kind of response 'that it should be happening organically', well it is not.
Guess I am using your blog as a place to vent.
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