The Church of No People often uses three examples. I think it is a Japanese thing. The Japanese almost always use odd numbers - particaulry 3 and 5 in the number of objects in a painting. Maybe Matt is Japanese, I don't know.
Then there is Brett that writes Godly Sheep; he has his Monday High 5 series.
Of course there is Tony C, he rarely makes a point. I am not sure if he can even use numbers yet, but I'm glad to call him a friend - and he does make me laugh.
Well, I don't want copy those guys, even though I worship them - so I am going to do a 5 1/2 series. You'll get 5 complete points, and a 1/2 finished one - sort of like teenagers clearing out the dishwasher.
So here is my first one. Five and a half things I don't think I need to hear in church again as long as I live.
Let's face it, the Christian-ese vocabulary is limited and that is a formula for redundecy. And because there is no lexicon for the vernacular, one is likely to hear phrasology from the pulpit and the faithful that is well - down right annoying after awhile. Here's a short list.
-1 "Can I get an amen?" This is sort of like a comedian telling a joke twice because no one laughed at it the first time. Amen means "so be it'. Can't I just nod my head in agreement and contuniung Facbooking on my Blackberry?
-2 "How's your walk?" It was good until I sprained my ankle tripping over that plank in your eye. Now I am going to need a healing.
-3 "Let's get together some time." Is this code for something like, "I have no intention of calling you, hanging out, and I probably won't even remember your name next time I see you?
-4 "We're doing a special love offering." It sounds like a title for a NAMBLA web page. Really, is the church a non-prophet organization that doesn't have the revelation of how annoying this is?
-5 "Could you please come and get your child?" You know, I put my kid in Sunday School for you to take care of. If she punched some snot-nosed toddler in the eye, they probably deserved it.
-5 1/2 "Every eye closed - "
How about you, what phrase in church makes you nuts?