Monday, August 23, 2010

5 1/2 You screw up big time and you are a Christian, then what?

Maybe you get caught in a steamy affair, stealing from the church treasury, found with a prostitute, arrested for drunk driving or worse - then what? These things happen to a lot of folks - yeah, and even church folks. The church's response is often inconstant, so you need to make your move before they do. Here are some classic celebrity tactics you can use when you get caught:

-1 Duck into Treatment Like Patrick Kennedy: If you are in trouble, and anyone has ever seen you at a party with a drink in your hand, head for detox. No one is going to bother you there unless you murdered someone. It actually doesn't matter what your sin is, they have treatment for every addiction, and even suspected addictions.

If you are not looking for help, stay away from Dr. Phil.

-2 Lawyer Up like Lindsay Lohan: A good attorney can deflect a lot of stuff, craft excuses and plausible scenarios in which you'll come off looking much better than the average criminal. They can even get you off on the promise of never doing it again.

-3 Move to a Foreign Country like Roman Polanski: I call this the Moses move. Basically you are running from the inevitable - but hey, you'll have some time to enjoy life. Eventually, you'll probably have to face the music, so go some place nice.

-4 Deny it if There Are No Witnesses like O. J. Simpson: This is a favorite. Just hope that the evidence doesn't catch up with you.

-5 Have Your Spouse Stand By While You Ask Forgiveness like Kobe Bryant: Sincere or otherwise, get right out there, grab your spouse's hand, and state your mea culpa - (Latin for "my bad"). Tiger should have taken lessons from Kobe, it only cost him a huge diamond ring!

-5 1/2 Repent and Ask Forgiveness like to woman Taken in Adultery...

I usually end my 5 1/2's with a thought to ponder. The church seems to have as many scoundrels as the non-church world. Hopefully what makes us different from them is true repentance and sincere remorse. From personal experience, they are both hard to come by. The church rarely makes it easy to confess ours sins and ask for forgiveness. Unfortunately fro sinners, that is what the Kingdom of God is all about. That is the reason that Jesus died on the cross.

Mark 3:28 I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. [with faith in Christ]

Luke 5:20 When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

How about you, do you repent and ask for forgiveness, or do you chose something from the first 5.


Anonymous said...

"I usually end my 5 1/2's with a thought to ponder. The church seems to have as many scoundrels as the non-church world. Hopefully what makes us different from them is true repentance and sincere remorse."

If this is the case, then why are you using non-church people to illustrate your examples?

But more importantly, how about listing Bill Clinton for your 5 1/2? President Clinton committed adultery, denied it in public, then admitted his sins and was tried by his peers (the Impeachment, held by the Senate and the Supreme Court, peers to the Executive office).

After the public trials, the President looked for and received professional counciling, both spiritual and marital. There was a long, frosty time in his marriage to Hillary, but eventually, they came out of this with their marriage stronger than ever.

Is this a success story of two Christians, one of whom fell, sinned, repented, and became a stronger person?

Or is this a cynical ploy by two power hungry opportunists who covered up a lecherous demon in a bid to seize control of the American Presidency again?

David said...

@Anon - Because they have a much wider base of folks that know who they are. And this is a bit tongue in cheek.

Bill Clinton may call himself a hamburger because he went to Burger King, but I am suspect.

Anonymous said...

Wow. If a serious Christian guy like you doubts that a self professed high profile Christian has repented of his sins (with no evidence whatsoever of backsliding), then that pretty much answers your essay's central question, right?

Why bother to repent if people will judge you by who they think you are?

Kind of disappointed here, tongue in cheek or no.

photogr said...

One thing to ponder on Clinton. Although he was caught with his pants down, he did alledgedly balance the budget and had a surplus in the budget when he left office. And how did he do that? With higher taxes and the Democratic party math calculations.

Anonymous said...

@David - Looks like I hit a nerve, hmm?

David said...

@Anon - just because people call themselves Christians does not make them one. It is easy to look like one then it is to be one.

To me Clinton's authenticity as a Born Again Christian is suspect. And for sure, so was G. W. Bush and Obama too. And let's add Kennedy, Mel Gibson and Carter to the list as well.

It appears to be that they all hid/hide behind some "perceived sense of morality" and tried to call it a personal relationship with Christ.

It's suspect to me.

Anonymous said...

@David - Certainly it is impossible for any of us to judge whether someone else is a Christian. But is the topic of your essay, "You screw up big time and I don't consider you a Christian, so what?"

David said...

@Anon - Oh, it mattes. I did say that they were suspect because I have not heard them mention Jesus. Anyone can say I am Christian. but if they ca't say Jesus is Lord, than I am suspect.

Repentance the brings salvation is not an I'm sorry for this or that. It is the realization that one is a sinner deserving death for our transgressions.

I am not thinking that some of these guys are really there. I am seeing I am sorry I got caught.

John 8:3-11

3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

11"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

It is a big deal to leave a life of sin.

Anonymous said...

@David - Awesome response, and I hear you hitting on all 8 cylinders now. I've got some serious stuff happening right now, so I must respond tomorrow.

And what's tomorrow? IT'S FRIDAY, MAN!! Best time to chew the fat

Anonymous said...

@David - On reflection, I will leave you with the last word. Enjoy the weekend!

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