Friday, September 10, 2010

The Parable of the Internet Explained

In the beginning Al Gore [Judas] created the Internet [the Heavenly Realms]. It was 1969, and it took 4 host computers to make "Hello World" appear on the monitor screen [oracle of God]. At the time, a partnership with the world seemed like a good thing.


Though no one owns the Internet [heavenly realms], it is governed by The Internet Society [denominational authorities]. The Internet, mostly unseen - virtual - is very real. The fact that millions of computers; all connected to form a huge network [religion] accessed by billions of faithful users [believers], trading packets of information [prayers of the people], is a miracle!


The World Wide Web [Christianity] is only one way to use the Internet, and it's quite useful for the average citizen [parishioner]. The users [saints] know that the "Web" can help us perform many types of "computer tasks" including: shopping, banking, research, entertainment, and social networking [church programs].
Domain names (Dot COMs) on the web are managed by InterNIC [church secretary], and overseen by ICANN [Pharisees].


There a three basic groups of users on the Internet, Windows [Liturgical], Apple [Evangelical], and Linux/UNIX [Fundamentalists/Cults].


Our personal computers and cellular devices are connected to a network; via either a WAN (Wide Area Network) [church] or a LAN (Local Area Network) [home-group]. While we are "on" the Internet [attending church] our computer is given an IP Address which is unique to our PC [offering envelopes]. From our keyboard or mouse, we will send information requests to a switch on the network [board meeting]. Everything we send through the switch is routed by a router [leadership team].


Once the router has decided where our request should go, it is sent out over the backbone [statement of faith] and received via the router and switches of the specified host [sometimes heavenly, and other times demonic]. That host will decide what requests will be handled, and what information, if any [error 404], should be returned to your specific IP address via the backbone, and displayed on your web browser.


Without some backbone(s) the Internet could not exist.


There are different types of software we can use on the Internet [tongues and interpretations]. These "apps" are developed by software manufacturers; most notably Microsoft [Satan] and Apple [God]. As we race into the new age of wireless computing via handheld devices other big names have emerged [Rob Bell, Mark Driscoll]. At the forefront are Google's Android and the Apple iPhone [archangels].


Software developers [apostles] use various programming languages [bible translations] to code the applications and utilities you use every day. Software development; turning caffeine into code, is a noble art - and open to interpretation. Software geeks use two methods of coding: Object Oriented Programming (OOPS) [Arminianism] and Scripting [Calvinism].


There are three very popular languages for developing applications: C++ [King James], Java [New International Version] and C# [Good News Bible].


All of that determines what will appear on your web browser or mobile app. The most popular web browsers are: Internet Explorer [Cain], Firefox [Able] and Chrome [Moses].


The history of the Internet is varied, however; it has survived more than a few changes: ICQ, AIM, MySpace, eBay, Google Earth, Twitter and Facebook [famous preachers].


The interaction between you, your PC, the software, and a huge network of servers, switches and routers is in fact, an amazing feat [religious experience], don't you think?

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