Posting from the Cardiovascular Unit

You would think that I have a lot of time on my hands here are the hospital. I guess I do; it is just filled lots of noise, bed-side alarms, creaking wheelchairs, clicking keyboards, talking nurses, the hum of medical equipment, and the sound of Velcro. It is not a place where I can easily sleep or write. Even with a sleeping pill I only got 6 hours and I know I could use many more.

I long to be home in my own bed with my own noises, and my family.

For a guy who's heart capacity dropped by 20% in a day, I'm tired. I am not feeling all that spiritual tonight, and in fact have no real message - it's just 5 hours from my next sleeping pill, and I am bored..

I have been thinking about my life spared - in fact probably due to my recent foray back into exercise that my heart was able to withstand the intensity of the viral infection.. In spite of the fact that I badly need a shower, I feel imprisoned, and that hey I just don't like it here, God saved me for a reason. I know my family is certainly glad about it! I am not really all weird about living through this, I'm grateful.What was strangest was that I had perfect peace at a time when I thought hey, it could all be over right now.

That's what I find mysteriously wonderful tonight, that it didn't matter if I stayed or went, but that I would be in Jesus' hands either way.